This Week's Exercise, an Idulgant Running Purchase, and Anxiety

I failed. I just failed.

I showed up to my Wednesday cycling class just to realize, getting there without a minute to spare, that I had forgotten my water bottle. So I went and bought some wine. BoooOOOoo...

I broke down and went to a running store to get fitted for shoes. I was just dreading my run and my achy feet. Turns out the shoes I was using were completely wrong! One hundred and twenty dollars later, I have very wide, neutral running shoes with a lot of cushioning, perfect, apparently, for the new runner. I also picked up a waist pouch so that when the weather gets warmer I have somewhere to stow my keys, ID, a bit of cash, and my phone. I feel ready to go!

I kind of want to post some selfies of me in my super cute workout gear, but I'm not sure if I want to go there or not. I know, as I lose weight, I'll post some before and after shots, but should I post pictures before then? Some fitness fashion selfies? I don't know.

I'm very excited about my new shoes. I have flat feet, and the shoes I bought on clearance somewhere pinch in at the middle. Completely wrong for my feet, or so I was told. The new ones don't feel anything like them at all! They are very cushioney and spacious. I ended up with size 9.5 Dyad 8 extra wide.

They're cute, I guess. They could be worse. But with such specific shoe needs I won't be seeing a lot of variety in my options. I also usually wear a shoe size 9, but the salesperson recommended getting a shoe with a roomier toe area for running.

This has me thinking that the foot pain I get while cycling could be caused by a similar shoe mishap. I asked if any of the salespeople had any idea on where to get cycling shoes that would fit better. None of them were sure, but suggested, if I had trouble finding wide cycling shoes in women's, to look at men's cycling shoes. The shoes are the same, I was told, but men's shoe sizes are 1.5 bigger.

That means if I was to shop in the men's department, I would be looking for size 8 shoes, extra wide.

I'm going to put this post under the label "Research and Articles" since I hit the war path and did some real-world research.

Let's talk about anxiety. When I'm anxious I binge-eat, mostly healthy food, but the calorie overload still sabotages my weight loss. I'm looking at ways to avoid binge-eating while still decreasing my anxiety. 

Some of the ideas I've come up with are:

Leaving the house. A run would be perfect for this. Plus, if I'm not in the house I have to buy whatever food I want to eat, and I'm pretty cheap about eating out. Cheap eat out food is the worst. No fast food for me! Or very rarely.

Reading, knitting, and watching television were other ideas, anything to distract myself.

Reducing my caffeine intake. This means cutting back on my huge coffee intake, and limiting caffeine after 4PM.

Calling friends or family as a distraction. Listening to music. Blogging! Doing art. Cleaning. Taking a shower if it's at night. Doing yoga. Walking. Running. Any exercise, really.

I have a lot of ideas, but I never remember all of them in the moment, and the same things don't always work as distractions for me. That's why I made a list. I'm going to try to look at the list when I'm feeling like binge-eating, something I'm sure hasn't been helping me lose weight and is surely causing my continued weight gain, and redirecting that energy.

Last weekend was really bad, food-wise. Monday was okay, but still well over my calorie count limit. I did really well Tuesday and Wednesday, but fell off the wagon again last night.

I desperately want to turn my life around. I'm not just some overweight chick who says she wants to lose weight while turning the other direction and shoveling food into her mouth. Anxiety and binge-eating are a real thing.

And I plan to beat it all.