A Year's Journey of Cutting Back on Cigs and Nic

Hello, lovelies.

Yes, I know I should just quit.

May you enjoy the mid-point of your week, and appreciate that it is half over. 

We are halfway to another weekend.

I'm going to address something that I have been very silent about over the course of this blog (and, no, it's not politics, at least for now).

It is my journey with cigarettes.

Photo by Ray Reyes on Unsplash

I've struggled for years, and fell into that pitfall of invincible youth, thinking I would never get "caught." After smoking on and off for eons, picking it up and putting it back down again at whim, I did, in fact, get hooked. I believe it was a combination of stress, anxiety, social situations, the freedom to smoke as much as preferred at one of last year's jobs, and that, yes indeed, nicotine is addictive.

I was raised by chain smokers, making it, in my eyes, rather normalized. I do believe the consensus that smoking around youngsters makes them more likely to pick it up. I also firmly believe in second hand smoke (no denying the proof these days), so you are a great, huge jerk if you subject your family/friends to it.

After a couple of trips to parts of the country I had not frequented, I also became starkly aware that smoking, in my experience, is much more prevalent and socially normalized in New England, than, say, the Midwest and South.

Anyway, I did not attempt to quit “cold-turkey.” I was under quite a bit of stress at the time, the whole reason I had jumped to a pack a day, and I knew me; immediate and complete denial was an automatic sentence to failure. Instead, I found my old vape, and tried that again. It helped me cut down significantly on my daily consumption, which, in turn, cut down on the number of packs I bought every month. I don't remember the details very well, but the ease of the switch was surprising. 

Yes, I did do both for a while, mainly vaping throughout the day and having a real cig every now and then, and I was vaping a strong concentration of nicotine (12mg juice), but I considered any wins in this situation, well, a win. I was quitting something! Of course a win was a win!

Photo by Ray Reyes on Unsplash

My problem stemmed from the fact that I associate blowing smoke with anxiety relief. I have never particularly noticed that nicotine acutally relieves my anxiety, but it was an alternative to stress eating (Eh? Eh? See how I tied that in?). It was literally a nervous habit. And I had begun picking it over bingeing because it was calorie free, and therefore less stressful. Anxiety relief through carcinogenic chemicals or obesity isn't really a choice that should have to be made, but it is one I faced.

Is vaping better for you? I'm not sure. 

I'm in the camp that it hasn't been around long enough for conclusive studies to be completed. We didn't originally know the true dangers of cigarettes, either.

I do know, though, that, even if they do not say it outright, if I absolutely have to indulge, my doctor seems to prefer I pick up a vape than buy a pack. The conversation typically goes, “Good, you're moving in the right direction. Keep cutting back.”

These days, I almost exclusively vape, and have dropped to 3mg juice. The “bad” decision, indulging in a random cancer stick, usually happens on an interesting night out. Surprisingly, that is the only time I can stand the taste of them anymore. 
 

Photo by Gabriel Ramos on Unsplash

A moment of honesty, however. I don't know if I would have given up the “real deal” so thoroughly if it had not been for a bout of bronchitis this winter. That was the turning point for me. I needed/wanted to get better, so gave up everything (cigs and vape) for a couple of weeks. Ultimately, I am still vaping, but those couple of weeks really did make a difference...

If you do not already vape, do not pick it up. It's still nicotine, and nicotine is addictive.

There are plenty of better hobbies. 

I also respect the nicotine companies that have started addressing underage vaping (heard a radio ad advocating for raising the buying age and removing ads from social media).

Maybe it's PR.

Maybe it's an actual show of conscious.

I do support vaping as a valid method of quitting cigarettes, and do not think this option should be removed from the “quitting” arsenal. There are other methods; medication, “cold-turkey,” rationing, apps, etc.

But this is the one working for me. And right now, that is what I care about.